WORDS AND COMMUNICATION

Communication is a thorny topic. The most eloquent, intelligent, rational and verbose amongst us may have trouble with it even when trying to converse with someone who is sitting across the table from us. How much more difficult does it become when we are limited by time constraints, distance, the medium of the electronic message and of course any underlying language limitations! It may become even more complicated if one is trying to be tactful, diplomatic or discreet. Frequently, we must rely on the written message alone, and this may become less clear and more convoluted through loss of intonation, facial expression, gesture, other body language… The opportunity for misunderstandings increases a thousand-fold.
 
St Exupéry said: “Words are the source of misunderstandings”, and yet words are also our only weapon against misunderstandings. How do we resolve situations where our words have been misconstrued? By using more words! Resolution of communication breakdown needs simple words, honesty and a genuine sense of wanting to clear up confusion or perceived ill-will. However, the situation becomes more complex when words simply fail us. One may talk plainly, communicating lucidly what is in one’s mind, but the recipient of that information may pass the words through a personal filter that is tinged with any colour of the perceptional or emotional rainbow, and thus construe a meaning completely different to that of the originator of the message.
 
A frame of reference is important when we are communicating and the social and psychological environment of the communicating persons need be kept in mind as well. The simple word “love” can be uttered in such a bewildering variety of contexts that it can become bogged in a quagmire of communication breakdown. We love our spouse, love our parents, love our children. We love pizza, love our country, love our friends, love going on holidays. We love playing games, we can score love in tennis, we can meet the love of our life, we make love, fall in love, fall out of love. We can call our partner “Love”, but the woman at the corner shop can ironically call us “Love” also. Context matters!
 
Communication can be purposefully made difficult. We may choose to be deceptive in what we say or write. “No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.” Said Henry B. Adams. Words can be a fortress we hide in, words can be the fog that obscures our actions, words can be our defence or our offence. Words can be daggers that are thrust to wound and hurt maliciously. Words can be uttered in a facile way so that they flatter and fawn. Compliments and cajolery, blarney or sweet-talk, propaganda, can all get in the way of true communication. Rumi advises us: “Know that a word suddenly shot from the tongue is like an arrow shot from the bow. Son, that arrow won't turn back on its way; you must dam the torrent at its source.”
 
In work environments the failures of communication are manifold. We write our emails, publish our communiqués, draw our labelled diagrams and we are the originators of much published material that the world can see. Just like any other form of communication, our work-related written material can create misunderstandings and can have consequences that range from the amusing to the dire. What we write about and how we choose to do it, can have an immense effect on other people that may be quite dramatic. What we choose to write about can heal or hurt, amuse or anger, attract or repel, inflame or influence, excite empathy or indifference. Our words can be balsam or poison. Or at the very least soporific!
 
I speak plainly, and communicate what I think and feel. If I choose to write about something, I do it because I want to and because I need to. My tact is genuine, for I do not wish to hurt anyone’s feelings. If I am misconstrued, it is has not been my intention to be so. If what I say seems obscure, words are there to be used, so please ask for an explanation. If I can resolve misunderstandings, I will almost certainly do so.